Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Wall Street closed at 41,488.19 +674.62 on Friday. Keep clutching those pearls, ohh

   Just to recap, the "caught and convicted of trying to have s*x with kids" score for 2025 is - Rapeublicans more than 10 D*mocrats: 0 Drag Queens: 0

   I bought a 15 pound turkey yesterday. He's fun to have around but he's kind of noisy.

   Hey guys, if you don't tell your woman she's beautiful, a Pakistani on Facebook will.

   The only reason there was a tiny bump on Wall Street on Friday was because U.S. investors were desperately looking for bargains at the end of a horrific week. Please don't post about Wall Street unless you know what you're actually talking about.

   RFK Jr. told people on F*x to use vitamin A & cod liver oil to prevent or cure measles. Now kids still have measles but they took so much vitamin A, hospitals are treating kids with liver damage. Funny! 😀

   Titan sun

   After an extremely tense argument with my wife, the house was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Things got a lot worse when I saw the grenade fly towards me.

   That wasn't a microphone that you dropped. That was a d*ck. Pick it up and keep sucking. Gotta earn that $5. Don't make your daughter do all the work 🤣

   it an amazing how they come up with things like “carbon emission tax” just so they can tax us? Another 20 years, they will have devices attached to our asses to measure carbon emission  and tax us more.

   The name Lacrosse has a hidden meaning; it's indicative of the two activities that are 'cross combined' and comprise it: badminton and butterfly collecting.

   Wanted - foreigner to properly f*ck my wife.

   If you don't like your coworkers, go to work dressed up like a bear. Tell people "don't poke the bear"

   The right praising their king for the astronaut rescue when it was actually planned by the Biden administration back in August HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

   lol at the cuck who thinks we're Can*dian.

   I wish I had the time click like 135 times on my posts.

   You know how we smack your household appliances when they’re malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.

   It's finally October! Which means all of the cobwebs and dust in my house just became Halloween decorations.

   Egg prices are dropping. It turns out that if you stop killing chickens, they lay more eggs.

   Walmart Mexico is investing 6 billion in Mexico. The USA has nothing to do with it other than making a profit off of Walmart Mexico. THEY'RE GONNA NEED IT 😂