Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Cafe word

   Thanksgiving: Being thankful for what you have and those you love. Black Friday: Trampling those you love to save 15% on something you don't have. Cyber Monday: "Hey, babe. Sorry I killed your dad Friday. Here's an iTunes gift card to ease the pain

   To all the people that couldn't stand me this year, just letting you know next year is going to be even worse.

   Dear 11-21-24 6:48, no one is trying break into any bathrooms its a bathroom not fort knox

   Poke her in the coong-coong here we go.

   Kinda ironic that the head of united healthcare dies form a shot. 🤣🤣 too soon ?

   Not sure what Dems love more now….TDS…or TDA.

   My angel sent from above. <3

   Not sure who's gonna win this years presidential election, but two people who are going to be in my cabinet will be, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam....

   I told the bank manager that I wanted to open a joint account. He asked who with? I said, "The customer with the most money".

   Elden ring

   A latte

   dimanna18 word

   What is the fastest way to calm a woman down when she is angry?

   "I used to think that my life was a cringe compilation, but now, I realize it's a try not to laugh challenge."

   Aint no hate like Christian love.

   I tried to play hide and seek. I was winning until the cops let the K9 off the leash.

   нам плевать на Канаду, ебать Канаду

   Kurt Vonnegut's, Harrison Bergeron, is basically the screenplay for Idiocracy

   ✅Convoy & Control✅