Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   has an additional sentence that he never wanted to hear in bed: "On Facebook you wrote 17 cm!"

   You can't tell me to do that. It's like telling the NWA to stop being black.

   no green food for me this year! I get enough of that from my own fridge!

   due to the london roits , london calling and anarchy in the uk sales have soared

   Warning.. This Status is Rated TV MA LSV!

   feel kinda funny. whats that bright light? Oh Wait, I'm being Raptured! Sweet! Good Buy Everyone!!!!! I'll tell Elvis Hi For You.

   maybe jfraze should read the homepage that sais statuses for facebook...just sayin....Love not anger..

   no mere mortal can resist The evil of the thriller!!!! I'm thinking it is a klondike bar.

   Don't wait for someone else to write the ending of a story that you started from the beginning.

   if there was a more adult way to say "extra chocolate" I would enjoy more shakes in my life.

   As an Asian, the only Super Bowl I was ever interested in involves a dimunitive looking Japanese man polishing off a mammoth bowl of Ramen.

   wondering how much you would do for a klondike bar.

   I'm counting the calories as I eat this double quarter pounder with cheese...Wish me luck weight lost!

   on the days I don't show up to work, ima tell my boss, I didn't miss work, I missed practice, we not talking about work here, we're talking about PRACTICE!

   Confucious say man who not married not quite ready , when he get married he finished

   If I dont see you this Easter, Hide your own balls

   Would go play on the playground, but doesn't have anyone to push him on the swings or sit on the see saw with

   No, you didn't get me. If you did, I would be screaming in pain, unconcious or dead!

   ever have the feeling someone is watching you? I guess it doesn't help that I'm looking into this mirror.

   I tried to grow a weed plant before, it didn't turn out so good. Gardening wasn't my calling