Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   ..is anyone hungry for cat food? I know Iam!

   lets be REAL with ourselves.....if you say "no homo" after your sentence...ummm your homo

   last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

   ______________is so gay, he is trying to drill a glory hole in his facebook wall.

   My tan has got a bit outta hand, the white man always called me indian squaw SNOOKI that's all I ever heard SNOOKI how I learned to hate the word SNOOKI she's no good they warned, the other children always laughed at me give her a grenade she's a SNOOKI

   thought a ipad was some sort of feminine hygiene product

   Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly far far far away from here...

   Apaprnelty hmoosxeulas aer teh olny oens brililnat ni unscarbmlnig snetneces leki thsi.

   * He more of a fearleader than a cheerleader.

   Watching this Sarah Palin Rally for Trump:....Did this chick use the words 'Bequested' and 'Pusssyfooting' as verbs??? OMG...SNL rating is going to go thru the roof!!! ....

   I heard that crooked ship stuck in the Suez Canal has the crooked Biden family's money laundered millions from corrupt business dealings and pay to play schemes on board.

   I don't care if you like Trump, just don't be like him and hate all non white races.

   In my family, we settle all disputes by pointing out the other’s short comings and failures and whoever starts crying first loses.

   *First day as a missing person* Wife: Hello police? Yeah call it off he was just in the shower.

   I certainly hope Donald Trump Jr chokes on a handful of Skittles.

   Love is me pooping while she brushes her teeth, and when she starts to leave I say "but wait, there's more" and splash another log. We laugh

   smoking crack with his pet monkey

   Don't you just hate it when you hop out the shower & the first thing you feel is that" I have to doo doo feeling " I swear poop has no respect at all !!!!

   wonders why people fart and waste, when you can burp and taste....

   What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!