Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Do your Moobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?

   wondering why people say "Bring it!" in a fight. Bring what?

   thought it was called physical education, not physical movement!

   The teacher told Pepito to make sentences with his spelling words: the womans body is nice budwieser face so ugly?

   Happy Nurses (and students) Day!!! *that doesnt apply to Nurse Sharks though!

   I love how everyone seems to be able to sing on facebook *singing*

   The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but it still has to be mowed!

   practicing karate. You know - waxing on and off, painting the fence, sanding the floor,

   dont make love in your back garden! love is blind but ur neighbours arnt!!

   when life throws you a lemon add the tequila and the salt !!

   Ever notice no matter how hard you try, you still say Reese's PEECIES instead of pieces?

   Dear God, When I was young I said always wanted to be a hip-hop rapper...Not a Christmas gift wrapper...in a mall...on a rainy Wednesday. FML

   I feel like Mr. Rogers when I wear a sweater...just not as sexy.

   I walked into Kwik Trip to pay for the gas & get a soda. It said, "Brat Day $1.50" in big letters!! This explains so much of the kids' behavior!!

   Does the ebonics alphabet contain the letter "D"? All I hear is, "My mom an' Dat." "I'm ok, I'm goot." "I like Chevy but I also like Fort."

   Every time at Subway they make you a bad sandwich, shove it in their mouth.

   Donald Trump public ally supports Bill O'Reilly. In other news, dozens of female White House staff change their mind about speaking out against sexual harassment. Kellyanne silently weeps while tiny fingers rub her thigh.

   Trump: I need to be on the power high when it comes to the business council. You guys can't quit on me! I'm quitting you by ending the council permanently. That'll show you to question my rac.ism!

   Ya! Trump says one thing will work when it comes to N. Korea. Bomb the deal out of them. I support that!

   The only reason Trump be me president is because your dumb a$$ didn't go vote so shut up!