Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   wondering if when geriatrics Roger Daltry and Pete Townshend sing, "Who are you?" it has a whole different meaning now.

   who needs LSD when you have Dumbo on dvd?

   Sometimes it's just easier to pay someone else than to try to do it yourself....Especially when that something is Proctology

   Maybe if we chirp loud & long enough about Toyota's not being able to stop, we'll forget about our crappy North America cars that won't start.

   It's mind over matter. I don't mind because you don't matter.

   All mankind's inner feelings eventually manifest themselves as an outer reality.

   pretty excited about coming on Facebook until he/she saw you were online.

   The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

   Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

   Drinking Heinekin Light and Eating Fat Free Doritos. Gotta get ready for beach season!

   Men,, we age like fine wine, women on the other hand age like milk,,, I hope you like yogurt

   Son of a GOD!!! SACHIN!!! Couldn't beleive my eyes when I saw 200 not out next to Sachin Tendulkar. Another unbreakable record added to d list.

   there a toilet in your mouth or are you just talking crap again?

   I see dumb people.

   Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do

   I like having those fat girls as myspace friends, they always provide the cleavage photos, no wonder they receive so many darn comments

   heard some folks trying to change the name of Killer Whale to something less threatening. Sea World, Killer Whale was quoted as saying, "I'm back baby!"

   ☂ *~Everyone wants to be happy , Nobody wants to be in pain... But you can't have a rainbow without any rain~* ☂

   has a thing going with X's wife. Wait... all this third person stuff has X and me confused!

   The Bachelor= The downfall of reality tv. OR was it Ellen taking Paula Abdul's place, OR is it the fact that Howerd Stern may be taking Sinon Cowell's place next season.