Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Now that I've gotten older, I've come to realize why Bigfoot stays away from people.

   People complain about gas prices but pay for gym memberships and don’t even go.

   Q. What individual did the biggest favor ever for two people? A. The one who stood up when the minister said, 'Speak now, or forever hold your peace.'

   How do you sleep at night knowing people don’t like u” Me: with the fan on high

   Dear Transgender people, Don't you dare tell me I have to accept you for who you are when you couldn't even accept you for who you were.

   Have you ever wondered how stupid people knew they were being stupid before the slap to the back of the head was invented?

   Don’t trust people who avoid the sun. They’re shady.

   If you lose your shoe at the end of the night, you’re not Cinderella. You’re probably just drunk.

   Some people say I'm missing a few screws. Truth is I lost the whole toolbox.

   But... Crazy people have more fun.