Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left him before they met.

   going around in circles

   going back to the future

   writing her acceptance speech for the upcoming Grammy's.

   making a career of this.

   takes your breath away.

   kissed a girl and she liked it.

   panicking at the disco

   made a poor spending decision and would now like Congress to bail him out for the sake of his shareholders.

   a case of the Mondays when all he wants is a case of beer.

   like that and that's the way it is

   so jobless that he's replying every spam message

   pondering why in the hell people type so much in their status box

   "not a complete idiot, some parts are missing "

   very funny Scotty; now beam down my clothes !!!

   "just wants less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done. "

   found Waldo

   on my space trying to Google your you tube

   holding the world for ransom

   "What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? "