Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   bringing sexy back... to the store for a refund!

   finding new uses for bananas

   wearing more make up than a clown

   so great Tony the tigers jealous

   "sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't "

   sells seashells by the seashore

   works hard because millions on welfare depend on me!

   finding the cure for hunger.

   a PC

   the weapon of choice.

   not the same in person.

   going on a magic carpet ride

   on the verge of a psychotic breakdown

   ashamed of what he did for a Klondike bar.

   the reason therapists have to get therapy

   out joyriding in your car.

   raising the bar

   being chased by penguins

   essential to a balanced diet

   "used to have superpowers, but hisher therapist took them away. "