Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   in court her imaginary friend filed a restraining order against her

   hiding false teeth at the old folks home for the Easter hunt

   rearranging furniture at the home for the blind

   free everyday it's in the constitution

   never been called a Space Cowboy.

   doing nothing worth mentioning on facebook.

   due to the economic crisis is now only "pimping his profile".

   applied for job at AIG, I heard they get paid!

   wearing a thong made of shamrocks...

   ...To be Continued

   Gone with the Wind!

   Schizophrenic, and so am I.

   beating his record for consecutive days alive!

   would have brought sexy back but I lost the receipt

   does not take fashion advice from people who wear crocs

   wondering "Do I think I am Paranoid?"

   attending life, and has no plans afterwards

   wondering why its called a search party....

   considers obese people to be dyslexic anorexic

   decided to continue with the beatings until morale improves