Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   like superman just without the cape

   thinks that the song 'Take You Down' by Chris Brown was actually a message to Rihanna.

   never a follower......that's what 'Twits' are for.

   reckons he was baptized in LSD.

   Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

   Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

   Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark

   thinking the sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette

   a duck was about to cross the road when a chicken came running up and said... don't do it man ... you will never here the end of it

   just lost my job at the Orange Juice factory...I couldn't concentrate

   typed this with her toes.

   Drugs may lead to nowhere but at least it's the scenic route.

   24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, coincidence? I think not.

   wondering if Chris Brown releases a "greates hits" cd.....will that violate his probation????

   The problem with the Gene pool is there arn't any lifeguards.

   would call you a tool, but even THEY serve a purpose.

   never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

   just been sworn in as the "new" King of Pop.

   I came...I saw....I decided to order take out !

   Yesterday the house was clean, sorry you missed it.