Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Sometimes you have to be completely torn down before you can be rebuilt.

   At the peak of the storm, the shallowness of the root structure is revealed.

   Forgiveness = revenge completed!

   if you dont like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk!

   wondering if he can grow weed on farmville and sell it on mafia wars........Moscow....

   ___________________/\_____________\0/_______'' Help Shark''

   My Wife says I'm too Immature, and if I don't Grow Up it's going to erect a barrier between us .....Hee Hee Hee....Erect

   Sick of all the iPhone ads? There's an app for that.

   iAm so tired of hearing about stupid iPhone apps...

   pre drinking for new years

   the journey of one thousand miles begins with a single cup of coffee

   has an app for that.

   poor life decisions on your part, does not constant an emergancy on my part.

   rejected to be the 5th Ninja Turtle.

   wonders if chickens don't have fingers, why do they still sell them in resturants?

   so easy even a cave man can do her.

   waited long enough with his pants down waiting for Google Earth to take a pictur

   my wife said I need more calcium in my diet.. she then proceeded to knock my teeth down the back of my throat!!!!

   misses the days of jumping on the hose at the gas station to make the bell ring. Full service was the best.

   :What's black and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre...