Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   really thinks Myspace is a female...So many mood swings and changes.

   Woke up this morning, looked down and one of my toes was missing, There was a note stuck to my foot that said 'Gone To Market'

   notices that ever since they invented Viagra; I never get called to 'stand=in' for John Holmes anymore....

   can't find Sesame Street on his/her GPS, Do you know how to get to Sesame Street?

   Facebook = just giving people another way to air out dirty laundry online. 1,000,000 satisfied customers daily. : )

   wishes the Live Feed and News Feed would make up and get back together.

   is wondering if a man is standing in the middle of the forrest and there is no women around to hear him, is he still wrong?

   says if you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space

   was uncool before uncool was cool.

   knows that God only created so many perfect heads. All the rest, he covered with hair.

   was blinded by your beauty, so I am gonna need your name and number for insurance purposes...

   ~ Free Tibet! (with purchase of 2nd Tibet of equal or lesser value)

   is trying out for "Home School Musical"

   Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces

   thinks the best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

   used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got her fired.

   thinks nanotechnology is going to be huge.

   loves giving home made gifts... so which one of the kids you want?

   's keys are really good at hide and go seek,they are definitely winning.

   Thinks artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity