Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Remember: "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.

   Farmville? Meh..just wake me up when they launch "Margaritaville"..

   thinking about creating a FB application "Governmentville" --where virtual money is paid to all the Farmville players just to let their farms go fallow...for several years....

   thinks people find me annoying but are too polite to say so, and I find that ...annoying.

   I swear FB. Your making me think my computer is all messed up. lol. How is this better than before? Your gonna make me start my own damn company...

   Alzheimers: You wake up and wonder who's sleeping next to you, where you are, what you did the night before, why you're naked..... kinda like college, isn't it?

   is quiet, shy, sweet and innocent! Sorry I couldn't even TYPE that with a straight face! LOL

   Damn you Hostess Snacks. For your hard to open wrapper prevents me from successfully obtaining the delicious content within

   playing backyard football with Betty White and Abe Vigoda....Damn!..They sure can take a tough hit.

   Cross-eyed teacher's can't control their pupils

   Wouldn't it be cool if "brownie points" could be collected and traded in for real brownies?

   not saying that "The Who" are old, but half of the people watching the superbowl last night were wondering "Who are those guys playing the CSI theme song?"

   there are two kinds of facebook friends... the kind on FarmVille and the kind you like.

   good girls blush when they watch porn but bad girls smile coz they know they can do better!!! ;-)

   February. It's not a leap year, but feel free to take a flying one anyway.

   I laugh in the face of danger, then I hide until it goes away.

   finds it sad that the Who's hit single, "Who Are You," has a whole new meaning -- Alzheimers

   "Yeah, I'm on faithbook." -Mike Tyson

   i dont know much about pies, but daaaaamn you make my banana cream!

   wondering if when geriatrics Roger Daltry and Pete Townshend sing, "Who are you?" it has a whole different meaning now.