Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   at the bank speaking with the teller about Gov't bonds. No surprise the conversation turned to men. After all. both take so long to mature.

   Wouldn't it be nice if the ATM just shot out an extra $20 every once in a while.

   I thought I was having déjà vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.

   ♫ ♫ My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards?♫ ♫ Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard... ♫ ♫

   hyou're obviously too stupid to read back through all the wacko liberal posts of the last few days

   • I've just been told that the invisible man and a ghost are going to have a fight... But I just can't see that happening.

   Im a good enough person to forgive you, but not stupid enough to trust you....

   Girls having more guy friends because they cause less drama...

   Miley Cyrus is going to coach and mentor the Top 11 Finalists on American Idol...In related news, the same agent has booked Tiger Woods to be the mentor on The Bachelor ...

   Men may have created fire but women have discovered the art of playing with it..

   Can the govt mge health care? I think not, look at the cash 4 clunkers. Mths after it ended dealers were still not paid. Guess the docs will wait 6 + months to receive their pymt. The cash 4 clunkers was a blip on the radar in size compared to health care

   instead of fighting over healthcare the government should just legalize-marijuana. then when we are all stoned then they can do what they want and we will all be to ripped to care

   they say you shouldnt mix business with pleasure....so how does the adult industry operate...

   Barack Obama is pro-life, as long as that life is on death row!

   I was watching Spongebob with my Daughter the other day and she left the room. It's bad enough, I found myself still watching it by myself. But..... what's even odder is that I realized the irony that Mr. Krabs lives in Bikini Bottom.

   thinks that Hitler has a lot to answer for- not so much the genoside - mass murdering- god complex- and many other stuff! But also the fact that little stubby tashes can never be fashionable! Ive just tried - it'd suit me ;-)

   Nancy Pelosi: Doing to health care what she did to her face!

   Was I the only one creeped out by watching, "The Time Travelers Wife"??? Nude adult male in the woods.....Six year old girl??? Just a little weird for a movie.

   Sometimes I wish I could be like Jeff Probst from Survivor. I'd love to walk into a Shift Briefing at work and say,"The Tribe Has Spoken"!!! Then walk over and extinguish their torch and tell them to pack their belongings and get the @#$% out!!!

   wondering " Why Beyonce not wearing a G-string in Telephone Video with Lady Gaga??"