Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5820 of 6448

I wish I could delete all the cookies I ate last night
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07-23-2010 23:22 by Vito
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According to my nipples, I'm freezing!
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07-23-2010 23:22 by Vito
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I saw a girl with "GUESS" on her shirt. I said "fake?". she slapped me!!
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07-23-2010 23:07 by BEGO
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A woman should know how to look like a girl, how to act like a lady, how to think like a man." :)
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07-23-2010 23:06 by BEGO
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aye Justin Bieber Imma let you finish but Ricky Martin is the best gay singer of all time! All Time!
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07-23-2010 22:17
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Ladies that tattoo of the sun rising out of your butt-crack looks great now however when you're 60 it's an octopus chasing a starfish.
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07-23-2010 21:52
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Wonders if Prince Albert is aware of the piercing that is named after him?
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07-23-2010 21:46
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A woman robbed a McDonalds wearing mens underware on her head. No get-away vehicle was described however there were skid marks.
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07-23-2010 21:39
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Mother, I would appreciate it if you didn't use scented laundry detergent, I don't feel like walking around smelling like Fresh Mountain Breeze...
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07-23-2010 19:58
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Oppenheimer's famous sentence : That was a big@$$ f*ckin' eXplosion, man !!!
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07-23-2010 19:35 by DavidZ
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i bet you the first club was a barbershop.
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07-23-2010 19:32 by L
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some people have their baby ruths or their michael jordan or wayne gretzky or dan marinos but my idol is adam from man vs. food.
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07-23-2010 19:16
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if my plunger could talk... i'd offer it a mint
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07-23-2010 19:14 by levon
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I just ate at a restaurant called, "5 guys burgers & fries" the food was great. How come there's only 2 guys working? This is false advertisement...

I bet the vampires goes crazy when Bella is ragging....
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07-23-2010 17:13 by bubba
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Has anyone ever noticed how on the facebook homepage before you log in, it looks as if the whole world is connected but Hawaii is not on there? I guess they dont have facebook
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07-23-2010 15:53
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♥wants you as much as Lady Gaga wants Alejandro!!!!!....Or Fernando!!!!!!......Roberto? ♥Okay maybe this wasnt the best Metaphor but damn its a catchy song
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07-23-2010 15:30
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All news on Lindsay Lohan a spoiled girl who can't abide by laws. Here are a few worth knowing about: J. Bartett, D. Santos, C. Stanley, J. Reed, M. Johnson, Z. Fisher, B. King, C. Goeke, S. Tate, they gave their lives for you this week, Bless our troops!
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07-23-2010 14:23
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I might not have all the best things in life, but I always make the best of the things I do have.

'Kidnapping' is such a strong word. I prefer to think of it as 'surprise adoption
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07-23-2010 12:36 by j
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