Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I wish I could delete all the cookies I ate last night
←Rate | 07-23-2010 23:22 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my nipples, I'm freezing!
←Rate | 07-23-2010 23:22 by Vito Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a girl with "GUESS" on her shirt. I said "fake?". she slapped me!!
←Rate | 07-23-2010 23:07 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman should know how to look like a girl, how to act like a lady, how to think like a man." :)
←Rate | 07-23-2010 23:06 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon aye Justin Bieber Imma let you finish but Ricky Martin is the best gay singer of all time! All Time!
←Rate | 07-23-2010 22:17 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Ladies that tattoo of the sun rising out of your butt-crack looks great now however when you're 60 it's an octopus chasing a starfish.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 21:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wonders if Prince Albert is aware of the piercing that is named after him?
←Rate | 07-23-2010 21:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman robbed a McDonalds wearing mens underware on her head. No get-away vehicle was described however there were skid marks.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 21:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mother, I would appreciate it if you didn't use scented laundry detergent, I don't feel like walking around smelling like Fresh Mountain Breeze...
←Rate | 07-23-2010 19:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oppenheimer's famous sentence : That was a big@$$ f*ckin' eXplosion, man !!!
←Rate | 07-23-2010 19:35 by DavidZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon i bet you the first club was a barbershop.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 19:32 by L Comments (0)  


   messageicon some people have their baby ruths or their michael jordan or wayne gretzky or dan marinos but my idol is adam from man vs. food.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 19:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if my plunger could talk... i'd offer it a mint
←Rate | 07-23-2010 19:14 by levon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just ate at a restaurant called, "5 guys burgers & fries" the food was great. How come there's only 2 guys working? This is false advertisement...
←Rate | 07-23-2010 18:33 by @ArmsteadyNguvu Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet the vampires goes crazy when Bella is ragging....
←Rate | 07-23-2010 17:13 by bubba Comments (0)  


   messageicon Has anyone ever noticed how on the facebook homepage before you log in, it looks as if the whole world is connected but Hawaii is not on there? I guess they dont have facebook
←Rate | 07-23-2010 15:53 Comments (1)  


   messageicon ♥wants you as much as Lady Gaga wants Alejandro!!!!!....Or Fernando!!!!!!......Roberto? ♥Okay maybe this wasnt the best Metaphor but damn its a catchy song
←Rate | 07-23-2010 15:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All news on Lindsay Lohan a spoiled girl who can't abide by laws. Here are a few worth knowing about: J. Bartett, D. Santos, C. Stanley, J. Reed, M. Johnson, Z. Fisher, B. King, C. Goeke, S. Tate, they gave their lives for you this week, Bless our troops!
←Rate | 07-23-2010 14:23 Comments (3)  


   messageicon I might not have all the best things in life, but I always make the best of the things I do have.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 14:09 by ginger curtis Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'Kidnapping' is such a strong word. I prefer to think of it as 'surprise adoption
←Rate | 07-23-2010 12:36 by j Comments (0)  




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