Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   "When you see Kentucky's fans, you just wonder. You think how wonderful it would be to go to their school. You wish you could trade places for a day, just so you could experience that feeling." - UCLA player Kris Johnson

   "Apparently the University of Kentucky basketball dynasty is to continue forever." - Philadelphia Inquirer, December 23 1954.

   Darthvader should of been made to pay back dated child support for Luke!

   would like very much to learn the swear words of every language......fun!

   what sort of bees produce milk?.......B(o)(o)BIES !!

   might go to the hardware shop tomorrow and tell one of the assistants I need a really long screw...

   never going to leave her husband........unless I move house...he's burried under the decking!

   My mom used to say I'm wasting my life playing video games. Then I thought "no sweat, I've got 2 more lives."

   If YOU didn't SEE it w/your own eyes, or HEAR it w/your own ears, then WHY would you INVENT IT w/your SMALL MIND or SHARE it with YOUR BIG MOUTH !

   Please copy and paste this to your status if you know someone, or have been affected by someone, who needs a smack upside the head. People who need a smack upside the head affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for someone who needs a smac

   If Pluto is a dwarf planet and not a real planet, are dwarf people not real people?

   My dad gave me a set of golf clubs and wants me to try them out... currently waiting for someone to break into my house

   Blackouts are God's way of saying, "WTF, even I don't want to remember last night!"

   I sing along to songs I don't know the lyrics to.

   Don't wear memorable shoes when you're going to take a dump in the grocery store bathroom.

   You were not "just wondering" now tell me why you asked.

   Before a Staring Contest I always blink a lot to get ready.

   My bed is so possessive. Every morning it holds me captive.

   Sometimes, you wonder what the hell the music video has to do with the song.

   The person who said "nothing's impossible!" has never seen me doing nothing.