Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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I just yawned on the bus and two dudes gave me their phone numbers. 
People who think women are weaker than men should know that male lions only kill men when they are threatened or hungry while lionesses kill for fun.
All I can see is : Kenyans are really Good with Marathon.
** Breaking News, stores in Colorado and Washington are having a hard time keeping up with the demand for Funyuns. Store owners say the demand has grown a million times since yesterday. **
I'm not real good about sharing my feelings unless I hate you.
People who always say "love is blind" need to be reminded that Stevie Wonder is divorcing his wife
Alright...who else is making plans to move to Colorado?
People who always say "love is blind" need to be reminded that Stevie Wonder is divorcing his wife.
According to Apple Maps, Obama is now President of most of Canada.
Mitt Romney's campaign slogan, 'Keep America American,' the same as a phrase used by the KKK? Interesting...
Honey Boo-Boo endorsed Obama on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Was that so momma could buy their paint chips on a snap card?
With Halo 4, Black Ops II and Assasins Creed III, I think November might register the lowest teen pregnancy rates in a long time!
Over Six Billion Dollars were spent on this Election Campaign, so that Americans can be in the exact same place they were in Before it started. Well done, America... Well. Done.
It gives Denver the "mile high" city a whole different meaning now! Haha
I knew obama would win.. he's kenyan, and they ALWAYS win races!
Obama's Victory Speech should of started with " Allow me to re-introduce myself!" My name is OOOOO!!
States that issue Food Stamps should also legalize marijuana, They just go hand and hand
Bo is re-elected the same day Colorado legalizes pot, I wonder if citizens will now get pot stamps instead of food stamps. Well played peeps of Colorado.
everyone under 30 is moving to CO and WA so Dems will only win 2 states in 2016...
Its official. The Rose Garden has been replaced with a watermelon patch, and the kitchen turned into a KFC. 