Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   No worries, the Romney/Ryan camp is sending out folders of woman and a pair of magic underwear to all of the disgruntled supporters.

   Um, no, Donald Trump, the world is laughing at YOU (and your raccoon-top).

   Donald, you don't want to be "that guy" at 83 years old still searching for Obama's birth certificate

   I tried killing a loose bat in the garage with an empty paper towel tube. After a few weak whacks,,, we both laughed & shared a fruit roll-up

   I fell in love today. So what have you guys done to ruin your day?

   Let's leave Trump in the rear view mirror and get to work putting our country back in order.

   Who gets the binders full of women?

   Quick! Sign here ______, here ______ and on this side ______, done! I'll explain on our honeymoon.

   The Democrats and Republicans are like Coke and Pepsi, each has a slightly different taste but both very bad for you. As for me, I like a lot of Jäger and a splash of Red Bull. I'm thinking Jägerbomb party. Who's in?

   I dont believe in love, but I believe in sex.

   That moment when you're going to stalk someone and you end up stalking 5 more people because you need to understand the whole conversation.

   Sorry Romney lost, imagine all those moron joke we coulf have done..... sorry mormon.

   Well the good news is Obama won nothing will change, The bad news is Obama won nothing will change.

   People who marry for money over love usually end up cheating for love over money!

   Michelle Obama is definitely getting the D tonight!

   Totally forgot about the Hemorrhoid Commercial...

   Writing "wash me" on someone's car is kind of funny, but writing "I'm watching you right now" is hysterical

   Yesterday a Radio DJ said that America was an Obama Nation, he was sort of right... its becoming an abomination!

   so Obama wins again.....just goes to prove that once you go black you can't go back!

   Well folks.. Did you pray about the election? If you believe in god, there you have it. God loves Democrats more.