Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I coulda sworn Kobe came out of the closet years ago.

   Officer You call it reckless driving, I call it searching for my cell phone.

   Jason Collins needs a bubble bath

   This status is dedicated to all the pretty girls and the ugly ones too cause to me your pretty anyway baby.

   i dont care if my teammates are straight or gay, as long as they dont listen to Nickelback...

   If you still have a Romney sticker on your car, I got news that may come as a bit of a surprise to some of you. He lost.

   Somewhere, skeletons and secret gays are fighting over closet space...

   when you're stressed, you eat Ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is Desserts.

   Now working on my 2nd million. I gave up on the first.

   Just cuz, I likkes one of your Pictures doesnt mean to come and inbox me stuppid assss questions like, "where are you these days?" , "Duh bitcch, on FB!!!"

   have you ever been so sure about something that you were unsure about how sure you were exactly. I'm sure I'm totally unsure about being positively sure to the point of not being positively sure about my integrity of sureness...

   and in other sports news a WNBA player announces she is straight. #courage

   Thinks this might be a terrorist plot to infultrate and put fear in the NBA?

   you know what's an odd habit? People who talk with their hands while talking on a cell phone........seriously.....who's that sh*t for?

   Some guy in the NBA came out as gay. Let’s all talk about this irrelevant sh*t for a week now.

   The female body is a grand evolutionary symphony of grace and striking beauty that soothes the tumultuous soul. The male body is umm a body.

   I am getting real tired of having to put pants on everyday. When does this end?

   These days alot of celebrities are getting divorces. Micheal Jordan just got married, I wonder when the new Air Divorces are comming out?

   I don't see how a man announcing to the world that he takes it up the ass is such big news.

   Clingy women stop it. No man wants some chick clinging to him like a two-dollar tattoo on some biker’s ass.