Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   There should be an observation deck at Walmart.

   Underwear need pockets. If you want to walk around without pants, where are you supposed to put your phone?

   I really miss your face... between my thighs.

   I want to spread your thoughts wide open.

   Am I the only one that sees the irony in Obamacare rolling out and the government shut down happening on the same day??

   Lets not get carried away it's not like McDonalds shutdown

   Ah, Breast Cancer Awareness Month. If you know you have boobs, go get checked. You too ladies.

   Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat.

   Wow, congress isn’t taking the end of “Breaking Bad” very well at all.

   Men get more attractive with age. Women...well they just let you put it in more places.

   Obama compared Obamacare to the iPhone. Except you don't get fined for not buying an iPhone.

   If you drive under the speed limit then yes you are boring

   ... May be we should "Ctlr+Alt+Del" the Government

   The government shut down because of spending money he dont have- thats called bankruptcy and foreclosure.

   it's funny Obama will negotiate with Iran, but won't negotiate with the his own government.

   Somewhere over the US, there's a drone flying on autopilot.

   The government shut down? Hmm.. Didn't notice any difference...

   What's the big deal about same s3x marriage? My wife and I have been married 20 years and it's always the same s3x.

   Due to a government shutdown, no one is "Engineering the electricals."

   Ohh man! They shut down the Grand Canyon! Where is all that water gonna go now?!?