Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Sherman...eat a snickers

   Been throwing up gang signs at my mom all morning. Now she won't make me lunch.

   Washington and Colorado legalize marijuana, Seattle and Denver advance to the Super Bowl. Coincidence? I think pot!

   If you think the Harbaugh or Manning brothers are competitive, wait until you meet two friends of mine, named Niles and Frasier Crane.

   Bong Bowl is on! Just don't drink the water

   Did you hear that? Busta Rhymes is the best corner in the game. Don't you dare put him up against Crabtree.

   My dog acts like every leaf blowing in the wind outside our door is going to murder his entire family. It's like, grow up

   I hate cyclists. You're driving along enjoying life then BAM! you're stuck driving 10mph behind some jerk with way nicer calves than you

   when I bath I turn off all the lights and pretend I'm still in the womb, then I jump out turn on the lights and start crying....

   saw a magician driving today,first time I looked he was the only one driving,when I looked again a women suddenly appeared in the passenger seat

   It's not all bad for Tom Brady. At least he won't have to listen to Bruno Mars.

   The Weed Bowl is On!

   "Oooga Booga Ooga Booga" Richard Sherman

   Kaepernick wish he had them Dre beats noise cancelation head phones to cancel the noise from Seatle fans right about now!

   At this stage of the football season, all I care about is #s and food.

   "What the h*ll is wrong with you, if I wanted a loser I would have married Tony Romo" ~ Giselle to Tom probably

   The Patriots defensive coverage today is almost as bad as the coverage by Obamacare.

   Seattle vs Denver..Washington St vs Colorado...marijuana SuperBOWL..

   This game is making me hungry for Omaha steaks

   Peyton Manning's forehead is large enough to show an Imax movie.