Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   🇩🇪Marked safe from receiving confidential War Plans by rep#blican idiots who don't understand security today.

   If you miss a payment on a Tesla it can just drive itself back to the dealership

   On the bright side, at least Canada & Greenland will know when the country of idiots plan to invade them 🤣

   Walmart has their Gillette razors under more security than Pete Hegseth’s war plans.

   Have free Top Secret Classified Briefings & War Plans texted directly to your phone Call: 1-800-DUI-HIRE

   27% approval rating! The party is on life support lmao.

   GaryKoenig's ignorance is surpassed only by his ability to not come up with anything original. Thievery at its most intrinsic level

   My wife told me that women are better at multitasking than men. So I asked her to sit down and be quiet. She couldn't do either.

   I am content to see the end of what was the empire called the US of A. Every empire comes to an end, typically at the hands of the insane from within. The US of A had its time. It's now time to end it.

   I wonder what my toothpaste meant by 'extra sensitive.' Turns out it doesn't like when I use other toothpastes.

   That moment when you realize that 1935 - 1980 is as far as 1980 -2025

   You can walk around Walmart and eat grapes and nobody bothers you, but as soon as you eat a rotisserie chicken, here comes security.

   Like I said before: Newsflash, I'm not going anywhere. In fact, the more ignorant you get, the stronger I get. So it doesn't do you any good to keep trying to attack me.

   I'll take the raving le*ticle poster any day over that GaryKoenig imbecile who posts played out jokes from eons ago. Unoriginal asshole.

   Whoever named it Parmesan cheese and not spaghetti confetti missed a great opportunity.

   con по сути теперь мы владеем тобой

   If you answer the phone with "Hello, you're on the air!" most telemarketers will quickly hang up.

   по сути теперь мы владеем тобой

   What's happened to the raving le*ticle poster today? I'm beginning to worry that something's happened to him.

   Give a 👎 if you're ok with Tr*mp and El*n r*ping more women.