Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Common sense has been replaced by uncommon sense. Thank you, and enjoy the buffet.

   Jesus: "Why couldn't my Dad wait until they invented velcro?"

   yawA oG aciaemA ekaM AGAM

   Here's a pacifier for you. Don't forget to take it with you when you leave the country!

   What's aciaemA?

   I got kinda excited when this young woman said that she was interested in me….. she was doing research on the elderly.

   What do you call the sexuality where you're attracted to men and women but neither are attracted to you? Bi-yourself.

   My parents never actually listened to me as a kid. I recall a solar eclipse one year. "Hey ma, can I go outside and watch the eclipse?" "Yeah, but don't get too close."

   Yeah, yeah. You buy brown eggs. Show-off.

   Worst approval rating in the first hundred days for any president in the last 70 years, huh? Beat his own previous record huh? Great job losers 😂