Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   The octopus PAUL has predicted it correct yet again. Spain are the Champions. I need to meet this PAUL and ask him to select which girl should I Propose to. It's time I settle for one girl, having 3 girlfriends Sucks bigtime!!

   PAUL the octopus is correct yet again!!! Spain are the crowned Champions!

   Paul the Octopus just got hired by the CIA ...

   likes how YouTube has gone from a video watching site to a music listing site.

   The Netherlands known for "total footbal" more like "brutal football"!

   I have a chef and a dentist here. You realize what this means right? We can finally clear up the confusion over the origin of tartar sauce!

   711 stores are the real version of the Kwik-E-Mart from the Simpsons...true story, I saw Apu working just this morning.

   That's not a bald spot on top of my head! It's a solar panel for my love machine ;-)

   congrats to spain for winning the Triwizard Cup or whatever...

   ‎is So,.. Just in case all Hell does freeze over, What's your Number?"

   It is now legal to carry concealed weapons in church in Louisiana. I'm thinking that confession just got a LOT more interesting.

   cellphones always killin the mood. chick texted "your ducking sexy".. sigh. so I responded "your spelling makes me think your on quack"

   wondering, Just how do I get in contact with Paul the octopus during football season?

   A good friend is like a computer. He ENTERS your life, SAVES you in his heart, FORMATS your problem, and never DELETES you from his MEMORY

   My guinea pigs are smarter than you! :P

   that Bud Light Lime has less calories, carbs & fat than 2% Milk...it's not looking good for milk right now.

   There's nothing wrong with having sex with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed.

   Scientists at Lake Tahoe are fighting off a clam invasion.. Or to use scientific terms, "Lilith Fair"

   Sleeping is putting a restraining order against me, I have to pay for my dreams support.

   wondering if I'll ever be mature enough to stop laughing at the word "duty".