Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Whats that Mr. Churchill; you say the germans are picking on your nation again, and you want need some help.

   a firm believer that drinking beer makes you you smarter...I mean, it did make Bud weiser!!

   Why put G20 in heaviest populated city in Canada? It's not like we don't have room anywhere else in the second largest country in the world....

   Go Go Gadget status!

   ⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠

   No Budweisor I have not been drinking any officers tonight

   a good friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend will be in there with you and a sister will stand outside the cell laughing at you

   repairing his/her wall. Thanks Kool Aid Man.

   you wouldn't happen to have your missing DVD player's remote... would you?

   A friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the body.

   Spongebob is no longer living in his pineapple under the sea. He's kicking it in my tub. It's gonna take a while to get the oil off he says.

   trying to develop a life off of facebook.....as you can see, its not working.....

   It's Raining Men! Hallelujah! - It's Raining Men! Hey, hey!!!- Wait, nope it's just raining.....figures!

   Africans finally have the chance to tell the English to go back to their own country!

   Don't tell God how big your problems are, tell your problems how big your God is.

   always feels so weird after having hot dreams about my friends. I find it hard to look them in the eye for the few days after.

   You are A-Attractive, B-Beautiful, C-Charming, D-Dear to me, E-Exciting, F-Funny, G-Godsent...H-Hehehe, I-Im, J-Just, K-Kidding...

   made in heaven

   Type 2204355 and hit I'm feeling lucky in google... worth it

   It's so hot outside! I just saw a squirrel fanning his nuts.