Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 336 of 6442

Going nite nite... if you see me in your dreams don't forget to say hello.
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03-31-2010 23:03
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believes you can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think.
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04-01-2010 03:10
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My wife and I have sex DOGGY STYLE..... I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead!

secretly wishes Michael had gone ahead and body-slammed Ryan Seacrest last night.
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04-01-2010 08:08 by markf
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Sorry, I've just been taken by surprise, am not sure when he'll bring me back.
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04-01-2010 08:10 by MG
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National Atheist's Day April 1st
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04-01-2010 08:11 by MG
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likes to think that when she squishes a spider, its final thought is, "Good. Being a spider is miserable."

had better get to work. these scissors aren't going to run with themselves...

has lowered his expectations to the point where they've already been met.
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04-01-2010 08:29 by Sam
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Oh April Fool's day, where everyone teeter-totters between brilliance and insanity. Welcome to my World!!

a boy walked in on his mom and dad having sex. His dad said "we're making you a brother/sister" the boy replies "do her doggie style, I'd rather have a puppie"
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04-01-2010 10:10
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Your chick so easy a caveman can do it! ~t.white~
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04-01-2010 10:54
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"As I said before,I never repeat myself"
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04-01-2010 11:01 by @abel254
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to quit looking at my status
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04-01-2010 11:23 by Malou
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Butterflies in the belly and weak knees...The 2 best feeling in the world!
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04-01-2010 11:37
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When you think all the way back to being sperm, we are all winners.
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04-01-2010 11:39 by Shamus
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Spell SWIMS upside down... this is going to blow your mind!
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04-01-2010 11:40 by Shamus
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God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily.
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04-01-2010 12:19
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Do not follow, for I may not lead. Do not lead, for I may not follow. Just go over there somewhere, please?
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04-01-2010 12:35
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Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.
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04-01-2010 12:36
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