Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   "Sometimes you can sneak the tight end in the back" that sounded so dirty!

   I wanna sleep with her, I wanna sleep with her, I wanna sleep with her, I wanna sleep with her, men don't think like that. We think I wanna screw her! No sleep involved

   "Glee" after the Super Bowl? From politics to TV shows, Fox continues to polarize the U.S.

   Looks like Mr. T and Flav O Flav had a baby and he is one of the Black Eyed Peas!!

   I don't care what anyone says Brett Favre is somewhere totally kicking himself in the a$$ right now!

   refusing to take NO for an answer, Big Ben just raped the Lombardi Trophy.

   Q: What do you call a Steelers fan holding a bottle of champagne after the Super Bowl? A: Waiter.

   Ever look at a pic someone posted and think sarcastically to yourself "Imagine that."

   There is no Hell. There is only France. --Frank Zappa

   In short, you have all the social prospects of a garden gnome.

   My husband understands that when we argue, and I say "Fine, do what you want." I really mean "If you do that, I will stab you in your sleep."

   Chrysler,Eminem Imported From Detroit one of the best commercials ever

   and the moral of the story is........Rapist don't win Super Bowls!!!

   If I spent as many hours learning how to play guitar as I do on Facebook, I'd be ready to take over from Gary Moore by now. RIP mate :(

   Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning are 2 Hearts and a Diamond, and by the end all you want is a Club and a Spade!

   There once was a team called the Steelers, who thought they were real death dealers. Then out of the back came the Big Green Pack and turned them all into squealers!

   Got a Valentine card in the mail today from my ex who wants me back. Sorry Verizon its not happening. You should try and move on without me.

   says yeah, yeah Aguilera messed up the lyrics, probably because she was afriad of getting sexually assaulted by the Roethlisberger...

   Are there any times in your life you wish you could just forget? Ummmm, like for instance, when that guy sucked the cheese off that other guy's finger in the Doritos commercial? I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

   wonders why they sell windshield washer fluid in a gallon container, but the reservoir in vehicles only holds 7/8 gallon.