Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Facebook Commandment I: Thou shalt not hold a separate conversation under someone's status post.

   I don't fear love's magic, I just fear some magicians.

   Dear the Midwest, ha ha ha ha ha! Your friend the south

   It's better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho the rest of your life.

   PETA would like to remind the protesters in EGYPT: FOR THE LOVE OF ALLAH, PLEASE DON'T SMOKE THE CAMELS!!!!

   The Insomnia Train has arrived. I didn't want to board, but I was shoved. Now I'm sitting here, I have no clue where I'll end up and I don't like the company. I sure wish it was The Crazy Train instead.

   Go ahead....make my day!

   If state farm was like a good neighbor they would had plowed my driveway today for me.

   Latest news from Egypt: نور اگر رفت سایه پیدا نیست نور اگر رفت سایه پیدا نیست نور اگر رفت سایه پیدا نیست I will keep ya'll informed if anything else changes.

   Marriage tip: If you are sleeping in separate beds everynight its time to call it quits.

   Attention fuels immaturity.

   Marriage tip: Don't

   as useless as a windshield wiper on a submarine.

   Well they put enough sand on the roads to where even if it doesn't snow it will still be a change of scenery and look like a beach .

   a little disappointed that Egyptians don't walk any different from the rest of us!!!

   Obama Says He Will Re-send Message to Mubarak, This Time in All Caps

   Enough with the school closings due to the cold weather. Our kids need an education. Just open the damn schools.

   Yes! schools are closing b/c of bad weather damn I forgot I have online Class???

   If you're going to play games with me, they are going to be by my rules!

   When a woman says "fine" what she really means is "I'm going to say things are fine but they really aren't and I will later throw it back in your face."