gremlinsd Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The bad news: I took the wrong medication today. The good news: For the next 3 months I'm protected against heartworms and fleas.
←Rate | 03-19-2018 16:48 by gremlinsd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun new drinking game for parents: Take a shot every time your child screams. Hahaha... Just kidding! Don't do this. You'll die.
←Rate | 01-30-2017 18:09 by gremlinsd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever since I installed AdBlock, all the single ladies in my area seemed to have lost interest.
←Rate | 01-27-2017 13:49 by gremlinsd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Kanye too!
←Rate | 12-27-2016 22:14 by gremlinsd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?
←Rate | 03-21-2016 18:58 by gremlinsd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trying to eat a powdered donut without looking like I just came from Charlie Sheen's house.
←Rate | 09-04-2015 15:38 by gremlinsd Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know a girl is a keeper if she picks the iron when she's playing Monopoly.
←Rate | 09-03-2015 19:04 by gremlinsd Comments (2)  


   messageicon When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics.
←Rate | 08-11-2015 22:37 by gremlinsd Comments (0)  


   messageicon If smoking weed destroys your short term memory, then what does smoking weed do?
←Rate | 07-21-2015 11:01 by gremlinsd Comments (0)  



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