andrew jackson Funny Status Messages
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Life before the internet was awful. Your friend would be wrong about a trivial issue during dinner and you just had to let it go
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I have nothing to update. I'm just making it look like I'm doing something at a party so people won't talk to me.
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Take the number of letters in your last name and divide that by your pin number. What answer did you get? That's correct.
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A large portion of my day consists of rushing frantically to places I don't really want to go to.
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Logic says the screw I dropped should be somewhere by my feet, but science says it's under the couch in the other room.
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I used to race motorcycles. Man, those things are a lot faster than me.
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It only takes one person to ruin it for everyone...Be that person.
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Shoutout to the American voters for narrowing our options down to the jerk from 'The Apprentice' and the inspiration for 'House of Cards'
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I wish I were full of tacos instead of emotions.
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Home is where the bag filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags is.
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