Mark M Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon The Olive Garden is bringing back its “Pasta Pass,” which lets you eat as much pasta as you want for seven weeks. In a related story, Chris Christie just suspended his campaign.
←Rate | 09-17-2015 17:28 by Mark M Comments (0)  

   messageicon A classic model Bentley owned by Keith Richards sold over the weekend for $1.2 million and features a secret compartment for storing drugs. The compartment is called Keith Richards.
←Rate | 09-17-2015 17:26 by Mark M Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Grateful Dead are putting out an 80-disc live performance box set. No word yet on which Grateful Dead song it will be....
←Rate | 06-03-2015 20:48 by Mark M Comments (0)  

   messageicon Kim Kardashian announced that she and Kanye West are expecting their second child. They say they don’t care whether it’s a boy or girl just as long as it’s famou
←Rate | 06-02-2015 16:11 by Mark M Comments (0)  

   messageicon KFC is planning to bring back Colonel Sanders. Because if there's one thing that will bring Americans together today, it's an old guy dressed like a plantation owner....
←Rate | 05-20-2015 16:16 by Mark M Comments (2)  

   messageicon A new report says that 80 percent of sunscreens either don't work or have questionable ingredients. In a related story, I don't have long to live...
←Rate | 05-20-2015 16:16 by Mark M Comments (0)  

   messageicon It was April Fools' Day yesterday. So be careful. And don't forget to turn back your clocks....
←Rate | 04-02-2015 19:20 by Mark M Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your Apple Watch gets email. You can send texts. It has a corkscrew, nail clipper, tooth pick, scissors, tweezers, a compass, and if you put it on the floor and stand on it and it will tell you how much you weigh.
←Rate | 03-11-2015 09:03 by Mark M Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy birthday to Justin Bieber. Yesterday he turned 21, which means he can be tried as an adult.
←Rate | 03-03-2015 13:45 by Mark M Comments (1)  

   messageicon I don't want to say the Oscars ran long but the kid from "Boyhood" just moved into a senior living facility.
←Rate | 02-24-2015 15:41 by Mark M Comments (0)  


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