Lu Funny Status Messages

   "Military only get one day" said only in june by homophobic peope who cant stuff up

   Don't tease fat girls, elephants never forget...

   We're probably accidentally giving ghosts handjobs all the time

   So many women.... So little time to disappoint them all...

   Commercials for toilet paper make it seem like I'll be cuddling with the ish instead of wiping with it...

   for a perfectly shaved forearm reach for the last Pringle in the can....

   I'd imagine homeless people aren't the fans of little dogs wearing sweaters

   i hate sitting comfortably on the couch and then discocering that my phone is more than an arm's length away. Also more than a leg's length away.

   I don't care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it

   I wonder if AM realises how bad it sucks compared to PM and FM?