JEBI Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump

Search Messages:

Search results for status messages containing 'JEBI': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 7

   messageicon My cat probably thinks I'm cleaning my ice cream...
←Rate | 01-26-2016 10:45 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon With all the negativity on the internet lately its nice to Charlie Sheen is positive...
←Rate | 11-18-2015 17:51 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you watch Friday the 13th backwards, Jason's machete is a magic wand that brings kids back to life and sends them to summer camp...
←Rate | 03-13-2015 18:45 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can't help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt...
←Rate | 02-24-2015 06:53 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon I will do a lot of things but admitting I'm cold to my wife who told me to bring a warmer jacket isn't one of them...
←Rate | 02-11-2015 10:43 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Hi I'm Kayne West! I survive on your attention. Give me your attention. Hey where you going...I need you attention..."
←Rate | 02-09-2015 14:31 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon Guys...dont mess up and buy her the wrong brand of vacuum cleaner for Valentines Day this year...
←Rate | 02-09-2015 12:58 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do you Americans have to involve race in everything? Leave it to the media to put ideas into your minds. The country/world will never know peace until we start referring to each other as human beings. One Love...
←Rate | 12-08-2014 14:50 by JEBI Comments (1)  

   messageicon I recently went to the dentist and he wanted to take a mould of my mouth. When he was done he didn't like the mould so he asked me to do it again. I said "WHAT?! I usually make a good first impression..."
←Rate | 10-16-2014 11:16 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon Operator: 911 what's your emergency? Caller: My wifes going into labor, I don't know what to do. Operator: Is this her first born? Caller: No, this is her husband.
←Rate | 05-14-2014 11:09 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your status update has been edited, there is a 95% chance I will browse through your mistakes before I read the actual update...
←Rate | 05-14-2014 10:09 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you walk a mile in my shoes, you'll end up at the bar...
←Rate | 05-14-2014 10:08 by JEBI Comments (1)  

   messageicon If my life had a soundtrack it would be the sound of a rusty gate slowly closing and then falling off its hinges onto a bunch of ugly cats...
←Rate | 05-14-2014 10:07 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife and I didn't know the handles on the mattress are to MOVE it!! We've been totally misusing them this whole time!
←Rate | 05-12-2014 15:25 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife wanted a puppy .I didn't want a puppy . So we compromised and got a puppy...
←Rate | 05-12-2014 15:22 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon I want to know what horrific ideas were rejected before they decided "Vagisil" was the best possible brand name?
←Rate | 05-12-2014 15:19 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again...
←Rate | 05-12-2014 15:16 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just got my foot stuck in my wife's bra. I asked her what kind of boobie trap is this? She laughed and I laughed and she asked me never tell another joke for at least a week...
←Rate | 05-09-2014 11:19 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon Yesterday I had to screw in a light bulb . Later, I crossed a road and walked into a bar. My life is a joke...
←Rate | 05-09-2014 11:13 by JEBI Comments (0)  

   messageicon Scratching off a lotto ticket before you leave the store is a good way of letting people know that your life isn't going according to plan...
←Rate | 05-09-2014 11:11 by JEBI Comments (0)  


[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left