Gripenfelter Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Kissing someone while they are asleep is one of the purest displays of love...unless you're in prison.
←Rate | 07-01-2024 18:09 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’ve decided to raise my kids gender neutral. Not because I’m embracing any LGBTLMNOP agenda but more because I like buying stuff on sale.
←Rate | 07-11-2023 17:38 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ah yes, it's that wonderful time of year between Christmas and New Years that I like to call "The Festive Perineum".
←Rate | 12-27-2022 12:21 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's my birthday! I'm finally at that age where I can switch from health food to preservatives.
←Rate | 12-20-2022 10:43 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was a cr4ck addict, I might drive to another state to drop off a laptop and then forget about it.
←Rate | 03-22-2022 12:23 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I stay awake at night wondering… How long did it take Cinderella and the Prince to realize you can’t base a relationship on shoe size.
←Rate | 02-03-2022 10:49 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife is a wild animal in bed. And by that I mean she's more afraid of me than I am of her.
←Rate | 02-01-2022 22:58 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know why people see a stutter as being a negative thing. I love people with stutters. It's like they're giving you a drum roll before they start talking.
←Rate | 12-07-2021 15:00 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dad said I would always go down in history. He was right. I also fingered a girl in geography.
←Rate | 08-18-2021 12:16 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  


   messageicon I say we legalize all drugs at the Olympics. Let's see how fast these MF's can run!
←Rate | 07-13-2021 01:22 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  



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