Daheavy1 Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Why don't family members send me money for my birthday anymore? I need it now more than when I was 7
←Rate | 04-26-2017 10:47 by daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 4/21 Happy National Suprise Drug Test Day!
←Rate | 04-21-2017 16:58 by daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm going to hang a Batman outfit in my closet to screw with myself when I get Alzheimer's.
←Rate | 01-26-2016 00:19 by daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon North Korea's Internet is down. In even more shocking news, North Korea apparently has Internet.
←Rate | 12-22-2014 16:21 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's so cold outside I just saw a teenager with his pants pulled all the way up!
←Rate | 11-15-2014 11:20 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wonder how long I’d be on hold if my call wasn’t important to them...
←Rate | 10-24-2014 11:14 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a normal pigeon.
←Rate | 10-24-2014 11:13 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust.
←Rate | 10-24-2014 11:13 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do baby clothes have pockets?
←Rate | 09-27-2014 12:34 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Took my 3rd self-defense class, so if anyone feels like attacking me straight on, very slowly, w/ a fake knife in their right hand, BRING IT!
←Rate | 09-23-2014 10:58 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  


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