Cal Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I love it when I get things delivered that I ordered when drunk. Its like a gift from drunk me to sober me .
←Rate | 05-04-2012 20:41 by Cal Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend just had a baby. He keeps going on about how he would kill anyone who tried to hurt his child, or he would get run over to save his son. He would even take a bullet for his boy. I said, “Why are so many people trying to assassinate your baby?â
←Rate | 05-02-2012 19:04 by Cal Comments (0)  


   messageicon "If alcohol is poison, why do you drink it?" "Because there are things in me I need to kill..."
←Rate | 04-28-2012 18:28 by Cal Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Genitals, Thank you for not bleeding every month. Sincerely, A Man
←Rate | 04-26-2012 19:30 by Cal Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never use turn signals..its nobodies business where I go.
←Rate | 04-26-2012 19:15 by Cal Comments (0)  



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