@truebeachbabe Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon People are so concerned about having to wait to see if Trump will want a recount, but are completely forgetting Bernie's and Gore's recounts. Hillary even started the Obama "birther" movement to end his legitimacy. #hypocrites
←Rate | 10-20-2016 10:13 by @truebeachbabe Comments (1)  

   messageicon I want to be something really scary for Halloween. So, for this year, I'm dressing up as 3% phone battery.
←Rate | 10-05-2016 15:22 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon If it's the thought that counts, I should probably be in jail.
←Rate | 07-29-2016 09:59 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon Diet Dedication: When the chicken on your Subway salad kinda tastes like fish, but you eat it anyways because worse comes to worst, you'll just lose a few more pounds.
←Rate | 03-24-2016 13:32 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm almost perfect when I heavily edit my selfies.
←Rate | 02-02-2016 16:25 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
←Rate | 02-02-2016 16:18 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you're cooler than me, does that make me hotter than you?
←Rate | 02-02-2016 16:17 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'll stop wearing black when they invent a darker color.
←Rate | 02-02-2016 16:12 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have to be successful because I have very expensive taste.
←Rate | 02-02-2016 16:12 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes I prefer to use my face for emoticons.
←Rate | 02-02-2016 16:11 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon My parents never let me play with anything magical or watch anything violent as a kid. I just had family-friendly games trying to figure out who murdered this guy in the library with a wrench.
←Rate | 05-08-2015 14:09 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon I want to be a Disney princess, but not Snow White because I don't want dwarfs touching me while I sleep.
←Rate | 08-26-2013 20:54 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon Disney has turned into America's Next Top Slut competition. Call in Britney to host with Christina and Lindsay for judges.
←Rate | 08-26-2013 20:33 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon Miley Cyrus can't stop, but she really should.
←Rate | 08-25-2013 21:47 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon An elementary school in California is being named after Michelle Obama. It's obvious that the school's mascot will be Chewbacca.
←Rate | 06-21-2013 00:16 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Birthday Sasha Obama! For her birthday, her daddy gave her Justin Bieber's phone records.
←Rate | 06-18-2013 22:55 by @truebeachbabe Comments (1)  

   messageicon Dwayne Johnson, paper, scissors...
←Rate | 04-12-2013 19:50 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sir-Mix-A-Lot wasn’t even that clever. All babies have backs.
←Rate | 04-05-2013 10:22 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only reason women can't park is because we are constantly being lied to about what 8 inches really is.
←Rate | 02-02-2012 01:29 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just saw a headline saying, "Is Rebecca Black pregnant?" & all I could think of was that I guess she chose the back seat.
←Rate | 11-15-2011 09:02 by @truebeachbabe Comments (0)  


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