@clarkysj Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Dear Dad, thanks for not pulling out. Happy Father's Day!
←Rate | 06-17-2012 07:15 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  

   messageicon I told my GF I was buying her some diamonds for her birthday. She said that nothing would please her more. So I got her nothing.
←Rate | 06-16-2012 08:28 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  

   messageicon Spain made over 800 passes in last night's game. The only way England could make that many is if we enter Wayne Rooney on Mastermind.
←Rate | 06-15-2012 10:04 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tulisa, sexiest woman in the world? I wouldn't even have her down as the sexiest woman in N-Dubz.
←Rate | 05-02-2012 08:39 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife said she's leaving me because of my obsession with plants. I said "For f-cks sake petal, where has this stemmed from?"
←Rate | 04-01-2012 16:07 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ok, so I've got my petrol home. Now where am I supposed to store it all? The bath is already full of stamps and pasties.
←Rate | 03-29-2012 14:40 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  

   messageicon The price for fags have been increased by 37p. One Direction tickets now cost £40.37
←Rate | 03-24-2012 16:30 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wayne Rooney has visited Fabrice Muamba in hospital. "It's great, he can almost string a sentence together", said Fabrice.
←Rate | 03-24-2012 15:52 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not an alcoholic. I'm a soberphobic.
←Rate | 03-18-2012 11:43 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every Sunday is like an episode of CSI... I have to figure out where I was, what I did, and who I did!
←Rate | 03-18-2012 11:12 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


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