Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon This doctor is claiming he's the best surgeon of all time. He said, a few years back I was able to jam this guy's brains all back in his head after an accident, and look... Now he's president
←Rate | 08-18-2022 11:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you think your microwave collecting data and the TV spying on you is bad enough… The vaccum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 08:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon In my defense Facebook didn’t alert me it’s my wife’s birthday.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 08:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The best part about diet and exercise plans is the research phase. Which is why I stop there
←Rate | 08-18-2022 08:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sorry I didn’t call you back, I got distracted for 7 years when I had kids
←Rate | 08-18-2022 08:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A “hootenanny” is someone who babysits your owls.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 08:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The smallest amount of kindness can change the trajectory of one’s day. But on the flip side a good small pinch on the outside of the upper arm can also change the trajectory of one’s day. choose wisely.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 08:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Feet so ugly, you understand why your socks go missing.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 08:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 7 hours of sleep.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 08:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Got the trays mixed up after dinner at a Chinese place. Ate the check & paid a fortune.
←Rate | 08-18-2022 08:32 Comments (0)  


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