Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Ladies. Does listening to Taylor Swift songs actually help you deal with your tragic love lives?
←Rate | 10-02-2023 14:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Here is some good free advice. When you see someone gorgeous, this is what I do. I just stare until I get tired, then I put the mirror down and go do something else.
←Rate | 10-01-2023 09:57 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

   messageicon Forgive and forget? What do I look like? Jesus with Alzheimer's?
←Rate | 10-01-2023 08:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can relate to batteries. I'm not included in anything either.
←Rate | 09-30-2023 22:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Marriage tip: If your wife is upset with you, simply tell her that you'll buy her some crayons if she wants to keep acting like a child. After hearing this, she will immediately reflect on her behavior and calm down.
←Rate | 09-30-2023 08:04 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dianne Feinstein has passed away. I think I'll have enchiladas for dinner.
←Rate | 09-29-2023 15:20 by Fike Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Wicked Witch of the West said it best: What a world, what a world
←Rate | 09-29-2023 10:08 by Darkharbinger Comments (0)  

   messageicon I once took a Viagra and it lasted longer than 4 hours. I asked my date if I should call the doctor. She screamed, "DON'T YOU DARE!!!"
←Rate | 09-28-2023 14:52 by Chorkitamikkittamykata Comments (0)  

   messageicon The female version of teabagging is called flapuccino.
←Rate | 09-28-2023 07:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon “Never eat raw cookie dough” sounds like a lie made up a long time ago by some guy that sold ovens for a living.
←Rate | 09-27-2023 15:48 Comments (0)  


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