smeebert Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon a certain sign of who will wear the pants suit in your marriage is when the wedding reception has a Vegan menu and a gluten-free cake!
←Rate | 07-30-2010 00:32 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon making Holy Water by boiling the Hell out of it.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 03:42 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when someone text me to call them, then when you call they never answer
←Rate | 08-12-2010 00:35 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Feds are indicting Clemens for perjury, said they knew he was on steriods when they saw his nose grow
←Rate | 08-19-2010 16:13 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Levi Johnston is part native, he just took back his apology to Palin
←Rate | 08-26-2010 21:42 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bribed a cop this morning, handed him my drivers license with a doughnut underneath
←Rate | 09-29-2010 20:51 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon before lady Di, I never heard of Paparazzi.., I thought it was a circus act or something
←Rate | 11-13-2010 18:34 by smeebert Comments (1)  


   messageicon hates getting texts or calls on my iphone it interrupts my game, don't call me!
←Rate | 11-23-2010 22:17 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon whoever dies with the most friends on facebook wins
←Rate | 11-28-2010 17:50 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do we protect movie ticket nerds behind 4inches of glass and a bank teller with only a pen on a chain?
←Rate | 12-08-2010 13:04 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon making "fruitcakes" out of stuff I find under my sofa cushions
←Rate | 12-08-2010 19:48 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon finding the Christmas spirit, now if only I can find someone who is in the giving mood to pay
←Rate | 12-23-2010 20:07 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I wanted patience I would have been a doctor!
←Rate | 01-11-2011 02:03 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just watched the "Notebook" & "Rudy" ...NO I didn't cry! but I want to go out for an ice cream now
←Rate | 02-13-2011 01:35 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can always tell which friends have no life, you can never get a poke up on them.
←Rate | 03-08-2011 14:04 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
←Rate | 04-10-2011 18:49 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Met my new gf, a spark came between us…..WOW those taser guns are well worth the money!
←Rate | 04-12-2011 03:44 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon You said you would go out with me only if it were our last day on earth... my pickup line tonight
←Rate | 05-20-2011 23:48 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon BBQ rule: no drama goes on at my BBQ, if your'e in a fight with your mate don't come, if you just broke up and want to talk about it call a family member, BBQs are for FUN only
←Rate | 06-01-2011 20:00 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching this NBA game makes me miss the great Larry Bird days, now its all showboating and apparently there is an "I" in team.
←Rate | 06-05-2011 21:46 by smeebert Comments (0)  



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