banjaxed Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon At a meeting last night Bill gates and Steve Jobs were both in attendance , when Gates started dozing off , Jobs replied "There's a nap for that"
←Rate | 10-19-2010 08:08 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders if the fake Irish accents on the Irish Spring commercials can sound anymore bogus , I've met a lot of people from Ireland and NONE of hem talked like that
←Rate | 10-21-2010 10:41 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon The closest I come to cooking with gas is when I break wind while frying a steak
←Rate | 10-22-2010 15:21 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon was going to go to Walmart today but my tie dyed t-shirt and my sweatpants with whole in the arse of em were in the wash, besides , I had a haircut yesteday and it's neat and tidy , I just wouldn't have fit in
←Rate | 10-23-2010 16:50 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please do not open any messages from me that are entitled "Do not open , This is a virus which will destroy your hard drive then come to your house and donkey punch you in the back of the head"
←Rate | 11-08-2010 13:26 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was at Mcdonalds today when a rather large woman served me , when she finally gave me my order she said "sorry about the wait" and I said "Don't worry sweetheart , you'll lose it eventually"
←Rate | 11-16-2010 16:42 by Banjaxed Comments (1)  


   messageicon driving and texting on his new cell pho......sweet merciful Jesus , He's heading right toward us .....freaking maniac
←Rate | 11-23-2010 19:06 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon me and the wife do it doggy style , I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead
←Rate | 12-02-2010 04:57 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Answered the door today and a giant grasshopper spit in my face and kicked me hard in the shin , I phoned my doctor and he said not to worry , there was a really nasty bug going around
←Rate | 12-09-2010 09:33 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon once had a Hangover so bad I had to put sneakers on the cat
←Rate | 12-15-2010 07:05 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every man should carry a sharp knfife , a sharp pen and a sharp tongue but only a gentlemen knows whe to use them
←Rate | 01-12-2011 07:29 by banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon has a hangover so bad that the only thing keeping him alive is the hope that he'll drop dead
←Rate | 01-18-2011 14:42 by banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Neighbors just bough me a new Seiko , I think they misunderstood me when they asked what I wanted for my birthday and I said I wanna watch
←Rate | 02-24-2011 07:23 by Banjaxed Comments (1)  


   messageicon Confucious say man who not married not quite ready , when he get married he finished
←Rate | 03-02-2011 20:21 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon lindsay Lohan and Charle Sheen have signed for a new sit com called 2 and 1/2 grams
←Rate | 03-09-2011 10:39 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good Morning , I see the assassins have failed
←Rate | 03-22-2011 14:22 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear lady in front of me , It is a speed bump , not a freaking land mine
←Rate | 05-09-2011 07:22 by Banjaxed Comments (1)  


   messageicon It is impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 22:25 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife and I do it Doggy Style , I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead
←Rate | 05-28-2011 15:06 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon What king od socks do Pirate wear?......AAAARRRGYLE
←Rate | 06-06-2011 08:48 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  



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