Eddie Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon It said in the paper 'Sex pest wanted by Police', I rang up to see what the hours were
←Rate | 03-31-2010 10:37 by Eddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife was watching a cooking show and I said ''Why are you watching that! You don't know how to cook!''..............She said ''Well you watch porn!!!!!!!!''
←Rate | 09-21-2010 15:55 by eddie Comments (8)  

   messageicon My wife said ''Why are you still staring at our marriage license!''..............''I am looking for an expiration date!!!!''
←Rate | 09-21-2010 16:07 by eddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon Most kids are taught the normal 'Birds and the Bee's'! Not me I was traumatized! My father explained it to me by showing me a male and female outlet. To this day everytime I plug something in I get all worked up And dont let even show me an extension cord
←Rate | 06-15-2012 09:22 by eddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon Day 10....I am thankful for Veterans......
←Rate | 11-10-2013 19:49 by Eddie Comments (1)  

   messageicon Sometimes life is like a profile picture....you have to ''crop'' people out that no longer deserve to be ''in the picture"
←Rate | 11-10-2013 22:27 by Eddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon I accidently grabbed the wrong shopping cart at Walmart and I'm hoping this kid stops crying because I am not going to raise a crybaby!
←Rate | 11-11-2013 22:53 by Eddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon Evaluate the people in your life; Then promote, demote or terminate! You're the CEO of your life....
←Rate | 11-12-2013 09:49 by Eddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon I am really looking forward to my favorite Thanksgiving tradition. Watching the "Black Friday" shoppers at Walmart trampling each other on the evening news.
←Rate | 11-12-2013 19:03 by Eddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon My favorite part of a Niki Minaj song is where I smash my IPod on the ground and stomp on it!
←Rate | 11-15-2013 17:32 by Eddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just made my CVS receipt from purchasing a single pack of gum into an entire "Roll of Toilet Paper"
←Rate | 11-17-2013 17:36 by Eddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon My home is in Heaven, I'm just traveling through this world....
←Rate | 11-21-2013 09:45 by Eddie Comments (2)  

   messageicon My wife just yelled that I pay more attention to Facebook than I do to her, or at least that's what I think she said to me....
←Rate | 11-21-2013 22:56 by Eddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just found out my mother-in-law is going to be staying with us for the Thanksgiving Weekend. Well, it looks like I have to clean out the hall closet again.....she is going to need somewhere to hang upside down and sleep
←Rate | 11-22-2013 18:02 by Eddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Wife was reading the newspaper this morning and yelled "Honey, the sales add says the dealership will make it easy to get a new car for your spouse this weekend!"..... Me: "Actually that sounds like a pretty good trade."
←Rate | 11-23-2013 10:02 by Eddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon True Story: Justin Bieber got his 1st tattoo at the age of sixteen. It was a Butterfly on his lower back just above the bikini line.
←Rate | 01-25-2014 12:56 by Eddie Comments (0)  


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