Charles35 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Apparently, saying "grande" in a non-Starbucks coffee shop is like shouting the wrong name during sex.
←Rate | 03-05-2011 14:22 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon took the red pill and woke up broke in Vegas. Thanks Morpheus.
←Rate | 03-05-2011 14:25 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't get drunk - I get awesome!
←Rate | 03-05-2011 14:26 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders how many times he should ignore his girlfriend telling him she put her tampon in the wrong hole?
←Rate | 03-05-2011 14:34 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants to thank Starbucks CEOs for now offering severely addicted customers, like myself, a bathtub-sized cup. Awesome!
←Rate | 03-05-2011 14:36 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks the best thing about telepathy is…I know, right?
←Rate | 03-05-2011 14:56 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to the “you snooze you lose” principle, insomnia makes us winners.
←Rate | 03-05-2011 14:57 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks its cool for a guy to have sex with his female teacher. Unless he's home schooled.
←Rate | 03-05-2011 20:25 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon believes the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse is the ground.
←Rate | 03-05-2011 20:38 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keep America beautiful. Swallow your beer cans.
←Rate | 03-05-2011 20:50 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks Diarrhea would be a beautiful name, if it didn't mean diarrhea.
←Rate | 03-05-2011 20:52 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks laughter is the second best medicine. The best medicine is medicine.
←Rate | 03-05-2011 20:55 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon knows there are things money can't buy. But Ticketmaster is working on ways to charge you for them.
←Rate | 03-05-2011 20:57 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon predicts that in the future, everyone famous will have mental health issues which they parade online for our entertainment.
←Rate | 03-06-2011 10:36 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your dealer runs out of Charlie Cheen, don't let him try to sell you Emilio Estevez.
←Rate | 03-06-2011 12:43 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon never shuts the bathroom door. If someone walks in, I say: FINALLY!! Get in here, shut the door, and sit on my lap!! Works every time.
←Rate | 03-06-2011 13:51 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon refuses to see a doctor whose office plants have died.
←Rate | 03-07-2011 15:35 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon used the money I saved on my gym membership and bought PhotoShop.
←Rate | 03-07-2011 15:46 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon While pumping gas, if you listen closely, you can hear the pump telling your kid's college fund to go "F" itself.
←Rate | 03-10-2011 17:30 by Charles35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I always try to go the extra mile for my customers" - New York City's most hated cab driver
←Rate | 03-10-2011 17:35 by Charles35 Comments (0)  



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