Funny Status Message #202976

X says I’ve never wrestled an alligator but I have retrieved something from my toddler’s mouth.
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# 167839 Breaking News: Alligator had ties to ISIS! The baby was likely targeted for being gay. Alligator could not be found because shortly after grabbing the baby, it shouted "Allah Akbar!" and detonated under water.
# 163424 Last year, 44 Americans were shot by ''Muslim terrorists''. By comparison, 52 Americans were shot by toddlers. Which raises the question: Why isn't the government doing more to protect us from toddlers?
# 204030 My dog brought me a stick he retrieved from over 150 yards away. That's pretty far fetched.

←Rate | 06-14-2021 08:10

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