Funny Status Message #160447

X says Sometimes I run alongside trains, tearfully waving, just so people will think I have a girlfriend.
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# 140833 Arriving 5mins after the liquor store closed has taught me all I need to know about why people inexplicably jump in front of freight trains.
# 79539 I like to walk into McDonalds with a Taco Bell bag and pull out a Whopper, then tearfully scream "somebody really McF*cked up this time!!!"
# 65259 If ur the type of guy who is embarrassed to pick up tampons for ur girlfriend, well live through just one "I'm late" false alarm buddy & the next time you will be skipping down the grocery aisle waving them over your head and shouting, "I've got tampons!"

←Rate | 07-30-2015 11:10

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