Funny Status Message #139358

X says Why do we have silencers for guns but not for boxes of movie theater candy?
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# 59573 Welcome to the movie theater snack bar! We have some crunchy popcorn, noisey cups of ice, crinkly candy bags, maracas, bubble wrap, and a f*cking parrot! Now silence your cell phones.
# 120504 I found $80 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy Nerf guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, Nerf guns and candy.
# 50925 I found $40 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy dart guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, dart guns and candy".

←Rate | 10-25-2013 05:52 by andrew jackson

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