Chuck Norris Sayings (beta)

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:59 Comments (0)

Just tired too Google Chuck Norris real name...And Google told me too stop looking for trouble...

Submitted: 07-17-2011 08:31 by bryan j brown Comments (0)

When Chuck Norris bites a Zombie they turn back to a Human. It's true... it's true.

Submitted: 10-15-2013 01:21 by nick Comments (0)

"If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch."

Submitted: 07-13-2011 14:51 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

Betty White....the only person Chuck Norris is afraid of!

Submitted: 02-14-2012 19:34 Comments (0)

"Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it"

Submitted: 03-20-2011 04:05 by hovo Comments (0)

Jesus may have been able to walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Submitted: 08-18-2012 04:16 by The Chuckinator Comments (0)

"Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible

Submitted: 12-14-2011 01:25 Comments (0)

Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.

Submitted: 03-20-2011 04:02 by hovo Comments (0)

Somebody saw Chuck Norris' diary. That book is now known as the Guinness Book of World Records

Submitted: 03-20-2011 04:02 by hovo Comments (0)

Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare that he only eats unicorns.

Submitted: 07-25-2012 02:31 by 1568 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris has been to Mars, that is why there is no life there

Submitted: 06-17-2012 16:03 Comments (0)

Just found out Chuck Norris has bodyguards... AND A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO

Submitted: 11-21-2015 09:02 by snotty Comments (0)

"If she haven't met Chuck Norris, she is too young for you bro"

Submitted: 08-29-2011 18:25 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris and Mr. T should run the newly form Tea Party......"I Pity the Fool who disagrees" , "Im Chuck Norris and I approve this message!"

Submitted: 12-23-2011 15:32 by jitney Comments (0)

Hey Yanks. Will you tell us all about that time you won Dubbya-Dubbya-Two all on your own or that Chuck Norris could have done something impossible? Because it's been at least a good five minutes since we heard one of those tales.

Submitted: 08-27-2011 18:40 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse.....horses are hung like Chuck Norris!

Submitted: 01-16-2014 21:25 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris was invited to a birthday party. Norris dared one kid to suck all the helium out of all of the balloons. Today this kid is known as Justin Bieber.

Submitted: 01-11-2012 22:59 by BEGO Comments (0)

"When Chuck Norris reaches 70 years old, he will just prestige and start his life all over again."

Submitted: 10-21-2011 11:01 Comments (0)

"yup....a young Chuck Norris is what I also sometimes thought I'd be too, where I'd KICK people for a living!"

Submitted: 10-20-2011 01:25 by @arithealien Comments (0)