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"Oh c'mon guys. Chuck Norris is just a dumb actor. If he were some sort of superbeing, he'd come to my house and smash my face into my keyboa4egwsdvc8 ohuiblj4g evda zcg 9ob, jlmevda z"
"When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live."
"Chuck Norris once donated 5 gallons of blood to Red Cross, none of it was his."
"some people wear superman pajamas, superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas."
Chuck Norris Can answer a Missed Call
In scrabble if you spell Chuck Norris you automatically win.
"Chuck Norris has already been to Mars,, that's why there are no signs of life."
Life insurance premiums are based on how far you live from Chuck Norris.
"Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet."
When Chuck Norris does pull ups he doesn't lower himself to the ground but lifts the earth to him
"Chuck Norris once told Steven Hawkins to sit down, he hasn't gotten up since..."
I am going to watch the debate with Chuck Norris tonight, I just hope Obama doesn't say anything stupid so Chuck doesn't kick my TV in, Oh but Obama will. . .
"When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris. "
"When Chuck Norris takes a stroll through the ghetto, the homies pull up their pants and speak English correctly. "
When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up
Chuck Norris can blow a bubble with beef jerky!
"Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience"""""
The Big Bang happened after Chuck Norris farted!!
When Chuck Norris adds milk to Rice Krispies, there's no Snap Crackle & Pop. They shut the fu$k up.
FACT_ Chuck Norris was born May 6, 1945 and the 'Nazis' surrendered on May 7, 1945.