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Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
Somebody saw Chuck Norris' diary. That book is now known as the Guinness Book of World Records
When Chuck Norris adds milk to Rice Krispies, there's no Snap Crackle & Pop. They shut the fuck up.
In space Chuck Norris can hear you scream
Boooooomm! The sound of Chuck Norris Makeing Love
"Spoiler Alert: Chuck Norris kills everybody, including the camera men"
Chuck Norris' Birthday is December 22nd... Good luck with that Mayans..
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.
The boogie man looks under his bed for Chuck Norris
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
When Chuck Norris bites a Zombie they turn back to a Human. It's true... it's true.
Chuck Norris was invited to a birthday party. Norris dared one kid to suck all the helium out of all of the balloons. Today this kid is known as Justin Bieber.
"When Chuck Norris reaches 70 years old, he will just prestige and start his life all over again."
"yup....a young Chuck Norris is what I also sometimes thought I'd be too, where I'd KICK people for a living!"
Just found out Chuck Norris has bodyguards... AND A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO
"Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you. "
Chuck Norris and Mr. T should run the newly form Tea Party......"I Pity the Fool who disagrees" , "Im Chuck Norris and I approve this message!"
"If she haven't met Chuck Norris, she is too young for you bro"
Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse.....horses are hung like Chuck Norris!
