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Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.
Somebody saw Chuck Norris' diary. That book is now known as the Guinness Book of World Records
The boogie man looks under his bed for Chuck Norris
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
When Chuck Norris bites a Zombie they turn back to a Human. It's true... it's true.
Just tired too Google Chuck Norris real name...And Google told me too stop looking for trouble...
"If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch."
Betty White....the only person Chuck Norris is afraid of!
Jesus may have been able to walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare that he only eats unicorns.
Just found out Chuck Norris has bodyguards... AND A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO
Chuck Norris and Mr. T should run the newly form Tea Party......"I Pity the Fool who disagrees" , "Im Chuck Norris and I approve this message!"
"If she haven't met Chuck Norris, she is too young for you bro"
Hey Yanks. Will you tell us all about that time you won Dubbya-Dubbya-Two all on your own or that Chuck Norris could have done something impossible? Because it's been at least a good five minutes since we heard one of those tales.
Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse.....horses are hung like Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris was invited to a birthday party. Norris dared one kid to suck all the helium out of all of the balloons. Today this kid is known as Justin Bieber.
"When Chuck Norris reaches 70 years old, he will just prestige and start his life all over again."
"yup....a young Chuck Norris is what I also sometimes thought I'd be too, where I'd KICK people for a living!"
