Chuck Norris Sayings (beta)

Chuck Norris has been to Mars, that is why there is no life there

Submitted: 06-17-2012 16:03 Comments (0)

When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up

Submitted: 06-14-2012 11:28 Comments (0)

When Chuck Norris adds milk to Rice Krispies, there's no Snap Crackle & Pop. They shut the fuck up.

Submitted: 05-21-2012 15:15 by BEGO Comments (0)

Boooooomm! The sound of Chuck Norris Makeing Love

Submitted: 05-02-2012 15:01 by Little T Comments (0)

Chuck Norris' Birthday is December 22nd... Good luck with that Mayans..

Submitted: 05-02-2012 13:17 Comments (0)

In space Chuck Norris can hear you scream

Submitted: 04-05-2011 17:48 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:14 Comments (0)

"Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it"

Submitted: 03-20-2011 04:05 by hovo Comments (0)

"Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible

Submitted: 12-14-2011 01:25 Comments (0)

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:12 Comments (0)

Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.

Submitted: 03-20-2011 04:02 by hovo Comments (0)

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:59 Comments (0)

Hey Yanks. Will you tell us all about that time you won Dubbya-Dubbya-Two all on your own or that Chuck Norris could have done something impossible? Because it's been at least a good five minutes since we heard one of those tales.

Submitted: 08-27-2011 18:40 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris was invited to a birthday party. Norris dared one kid to suck all the helium out of all of the balloons. Today this kid is known as Justin Bieber.

Submitted: 01-11-2012 22:59 by BEGO Comments (0)

Just found out Chuck Norris has bodyguards... AND A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO

Submitted: 11-21-2015 09:02 by snotty Comments (0)

Chuck Norris and Mr. T should run the newly form Tea Party......"I Pity the Fool who disagrees" , "Im Chuck Norris and I approve this message!"

Submitted: 12-23-2011 15:32 by jitney Comments (0)

"When Chuck Norris reaches 70 years old, he will just prestige and start his life all over again."

Submitted: 10-21-2011 11:01 Comments (0)

"yup....a young Chuck Norris is what I also sometimes thought I'd be too, where I'd KICK people for a living!"

Submitted: 10-20-2011 01:25 by @arithealien Comments (0)

"Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you. "

Submitted: 10-17-2011 09:49 Comments (0)

"If she haven't met Chuck Norris, she is too young for you bro"

Submitted: 08-29-2011 18:25 Comments (0)