Chuck Norris Sayings (beta)

Somebody saw Chuck Norris' diary. That book is now known as the Guinness Book of World Records

Submitted: 03-20-2011 04:02 by hovo Comments (0)

When Chuck Norris adds milk to Rice Krispies, there's no Snap Crackle & Pop. They shut the fuck up.

Submitted: 05-21-2012 15:15 by BEGO Comments (0)

"Spoiler Alert: Chuck Norris kills everybody, including the camera men"

Submitted: 12-15-2011 18:11 Comments (0)

Just tired too Google Chuck Norris real name...And Google told me too stop looking for trouble...

Submitted: 07-17-2011 08:31 by bryan j brown Comments (0)

Boooooomm! The sound of Chuck Norris Makeing Love

Submitted: 05-02-2012 15:01 by Little T Comments (0)

"If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch."

Submitted: 07-13-2011 14:51 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

The boogie man looks under his bed for Chuck Norris

Submitted: 12-14-2011 23:09 by Katie Comments (0)

Chuck Norris' Birthday is December 22nd... Good luck with that Mayans..

Submitted: 05-02-2012 13:17 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:14 Comments (0)

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:12 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:59 Comments (0)

When Chuck Norris bites a Zombie they turn back to a Human. It's true... it's true.

Submitted: 10-15-2013 01:21 by nick Comments (0)

"If she haven't met Chuck Norris, she is too young for you bro"

Submitted: 08-29-2011 18:25 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris was invited to a birthday party. Norris dared one kid to suck all the helium out of all of the balloons. Today this kid is known as Justin Bieber.

Submitted: 01-11-2012 22:59 by BEGO Comments (0)

Hey Yanks. Will you tell us all about that time you won Dubbya-Dubbya-Two all on your own or that Chuck Norris could have done something impossible? Because it's been at least a good five minutes since we heard one of those tales.

Submitted: 08-27-2011 18:40 Comments (0)

Just found out Chuck Norris has bodyguards... AND A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO

Submitted: 11-21-2015 09:02 by snotty Comments (0)

Chuck Norris and Mr. T should run the newly form Tea Party......"I Pity the Fool who disagrees" , "Im Chuck Norris and I approve this message!"

Submitted: 12-23-2011 15:32 by jitney Comments (0)

Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse.....horses are hung like Chuck Norris!

Submitted: 01-16-2014 21:25 Comments (0)

"When Chuck Norris reaches 70 years old, he will just prestige and start his life all over again."

Submitted: 10-21-2011 11:01 Comments (0)

"yup....a young Chuck Norris is what I also sometimes thought I'd be too, where I'd KICK people for a living!"

Submitted: 10-20-2011 01:25 by @arithealien Comments (0)