Chuck Norris Sayings (beta)

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 13:12 Comments (0)

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Submitted: 11-09-2012 12:59 Comments (0)

When Chuck Norris bites a Zombie they turn back to a Human. It's true... it's true.

Submitted: 10-15-2013 01:21 by nick Comments (0)

In space Chuck Norris can hear you scream

Submitted: 04-05-2011 17:48 Comments (0)

"Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible

Submitted: 12-14-2011 01:25 Comments (0)

"Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it"

Submitted: 03-20-2011 04:05 by hovo Comments (0)

Betty White....the only person Chuck Norris is afraid of!

Submitted: 02-14-2012 19:34 Comments (0)

Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.

Submitted: 03-20-2011 04:02 by hovo Comments (0)

Somebody saw Chuck Norris' diary. That book is now known as the Guinness Book of World Records

Submitted: 03-20-2011 04:02 by hovo Comments (0)

"Spoiler Alert: Chuck Norris kills everybody, including the camera men"

Submitted: 12-15-2011 18:11 Comments (0)

Jesus may have been able to walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Submitted: 08-18-2012 04:16 by The Chuckinator Comments (0)

The boogie man looks under his bed for Chuck Norris

Submitted: 12-14-2011 23:09 by Katie Comments (0)

Just found out Chuck Norris has bodyguards... AND A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO

Submitted: 11-21-2015 09:02 by snotty Comments (0)

Chuck Norris and Mr. T should run the newly form Tea Party......"I Pity the Fool who disagrees" , "Im Chuck Norris and I approve this message!"

Submitted: 12-23-2011 15:32 by jitney Comments (0)

Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse.....horses are hung like Chuck Norris!

Submitted: 01-16-2014 21:25 Comments (0)

"When Chuck Norris reaches 70 years old, he will just prestige and start his life all over again."

Submitted: 10-21-2011 11:01 Comments (0)

"yup....a young Chuck Norris is what I also sometimes thought I'd be too, where I'd KICK people for a living!"

Submitted: 10-20-2011 01:25 by @arithealien Comments (0)

"Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you. "

Submitted: 10-17-2011 09:49 Comments (0)

"If she haven't met Chuck Norris, she is too young for you bro"

Submitted: 08-29-2011 18:25 Comments (0)

Hey Yanks. Will you tell us all about that time you won Dubbya-Dubbya-Two all on your own or that Chuck Norris could have done something impossible? Because it's been at least a good five minutes since we heard one of those tales.

Submitted: 08-27-2011 18:40 Comments (0)